Jumat, 05 Oktober 2012
Opponents 'Bullying', Grow Empathy
We ourselves may realize baseball is doing the bullying, or bullied. One student told me, he chose to move to the school, unable to bear her excommunicated. When the time of parting came, bullying does not feel that the couple was forced to move schools due to his behavior.
One other students to attend extracurricular paskibra not continue because of screaming and cynical words spoken senior. "When my story to another friend, he just said, 'That's normal. That's effort to discipline him for us, the new kid, '"he says.
Schoolgirl a vocational school in South Jakarta also had drawn three senior girls to the school toilet. In this place, he was interrogated like a prisoner, because senior students suspected that the junior fell in love with the guy's after. Soon the juniors still feel fear, though the senior considered the issue over.
"Bullying can be in the form of ostracism, harassment, bullying, intimidation, ridicule, gossip, slander, to physical violence. The more the victim feel depressed or fearful, the more excited bullying. We here usually accompany the victim, "said Amanda (16), one of the volunteer Teens Caring Community (CTC) in collaboration with the Foundation Semai Jiwa Amini (soul).
Nabila (17), other volunteers told me, actually since elementary school already knew about the bullying of his mother, a psychologist. "But even in theory knows, baseball practice easy. Make the victim, dancer-though only teasing remark, baseball was enough to make him comfortable. The effect she was so scared or embarrassed. Everyone, right, had levels of tolerance 'joke' is different, "he said.
Victims and perpetrators
Abu (19) and Dian (16), another CTC volunteers told, in the case of bullying may be the perpetrator was also the victim of bullying. Abu example, students who are at home made the butt of a parent / parent (meaning sacrifice), could divert feeling upset with bullying at school (the perpetrator).
Amanda added that from his experience to share knowledge about bullying at a school in Bintaro, South Jakarta, he found that students lightly hitting friends. The students admitted, hitting is normal because he was often beaten parent if only for trivia.
Diena Haryana, Chairman soul Foundation, an organization that actively campaigned against bullying, adding, closeness of family relationships is important to help the children have a sense of security. Conditions that affect the brain are balanced, including hormones.
"Usually the children become self-confident, able to think creatively, jaunty and vibrant. Her potential will emerge, various intelligence ready sharpened. He's ready to perform. Conditions were not looking at socio-economic background of the family. Conversely, loud behavior parent to child can occur in all walks of life, "he said.
But the worst, added Diena, violent behavior parent to families with low socioeconomic levels. Here the children experience a bad situation, namely violence and economic pressures squeezing the inner. "He could be a child who is difficult to control because they feel lonely, outcast, low self-esteem."
Why bullying arise, especially when we are teenagers? According to Diena, because we are again experiencing hormonal changes. Without any bullying, teens tend to be sensitive and troubled. Especially if we have to deal with bullying as well. "They are so easily triggered emotions and react accordingly basic personality of each."
There are three possible reactions, namely Fight (which means he is against, shows the raging anger), Flight (escape from being hurt can be in the negative direction such as drugs, alcohol, unhealthy internet / pornography), and Freeze (attitude "freezes", he lost his common sense, unable to think, depressed, not motivated to live).
"If the victim of bullying choose Fight, he will release his anger energy without fear. It then made her bullying. But if the victim reacts Freeze, he's really the victim that requires empathy, even at levels that could be more severe depression, "said Diena.
Goes a long way
Many reasons for bullying, whom want to discipline junior pengin power performance, annoyed at the body language or behavior of victims. On the other hand, targeted as victims of bullying could be anyone. For example, they considered actors look physically weaker, annoying, not being able to interact with the actors, to the physical things like fat and stuttering.
The condition is aggravated assessment around us who do not make bullying as a problem. As a result, to a student, even working too, victims of bullying still not able to defend themselves. While bullying (because it did not feel guilty and never corrected parent / teacher) are rampant, violence embedded in their personality.
"At MOS or OSPEK, class X or new students should receive any treatment of seniors. They looked helpless. When this is the beginning of sustained bullying or bullying circle going on, "said Diena.
Here the seniors get targeted easy prey to anger or disappointment, many of them brought from home. Troubling thing is, the behavior of the senior champion was a role model for junior, which directly mimics the earliest opportunity. "Especially if the seniors did intend to recruit youth to carry on the tradition of violence."
To reduce bullying, need an understanding of bullying behavior and intricacies. This can be taught by any of the subjects in school such as PPKN or character education.
"We know what it is bullying and its effects, many students improve their attitude. There are actors who immediately stopped his tough, even children who then become trainers to teach nonviolence as improving attitudes of respect, love, caring and tolerant, "said Diena carrying out research bullying in elementary and high school students.
Agreeing with Diena, according to Amanda and Nabila, to express themselves in a positive, for adolescents should be provided various means, such as for theater, music, sports, get involved in social activities.
"Create better if bullying perpetrators sanctioned social work such as caring for the elderly, or cleaning the shelter homes for orphans," said Amanda.
Diene added to help the victims, we can show empathy, but do not overdo it. "Simply we are around the victim, baseball bullying case goes without question that befall him. If he story, we listen. Make the victim comfortable, she is usually sensitive and baseball pengin found, tend to avoid socializing. "
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